Thursday, May 5, 2011
Exposing Myself? Would That Be Such a Bad Thing?
Well work was a really interesting today. From the sound of crickets chirping due to the slowness of sales in retail to people watching all the downtown nutjobs, today would have been like any other day working in a high end retail establishment. Then a weird thing occurred that brings me to writing this blog. I ALMOST BECAME A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! Yes, you heard me right. I almost became that blue dot on sex offender websites living in surburbia! Who knows? I could have been living near you and you wouldn't have known it. Muhahahaha!
Let me explain. Today began like any typical day from dealing with customers to doing your normal office work. It's all in a day's work as a retail service counter employee until I felt need to drain the lizard. Perhaps it was my mistake of downing the industrial size can of Red Bull that did me in. I'll know not to repeat that same mistake twice. As I was saying, I had to take a leak. I excused myself and left the department to trek down to the men's restroom on the other side of the store.
It was at that moment that I opened the door a crack that a wave of surrealism hit me. The men's restroom was invaded by women. Two women in fact. Apparently, the cleaning ladies were making the the female restroom all nice and pretty that these two chicks felt the need to duck into the men's to do their business. However instead of hurrying out, they took their precious time fixing themselves, their hair, make-up, and hooker wear to look presentable in the store. Embarrassed, I fould myself at a loss for words, shut the door, and quickly rushed down to perform number one in the men's restroom downstairs.
Now what surprised me is how nonchalant these two little girls were about their willingness to share the restroom with a male. Sure, this happens frequently in a club or bar but in broad daylight of a store? Seriously, I pondered for moment to fuck all protocol and piss in the urinal while farting in their direction but then I probably be arrested for indecent exposure and have to explain the blue dot scenario to my family and friends. If only I could get away with it? Hmmmmm, it really makes you think.